Photos shot by Maurice Stolte

Edited by me


Lisa-Maria’s field report:

When I started to take pictures of myself I was at a point in my life where I hated my FAT BODY and since I identified completely with my body I hated my whole self included. According to self proclaimed “experts” I was “failing at selfcontrol”. My rolls, my double chin, my jiggly legs and hanging tits and ass were seen as an attack, an offense against the public eye and has to be hidden! For me it felt like a shame to exist. Since I was a child my family, friends, teachers, doctors, media and especially the FASHIONINDUSTRY, where I planed to work, told me I was wrong and must change immediatly and at any cost. So I tried my best to correct myself.

Hell, I can tell you I tried, often and really hard with every DIET, SURGERY and FITNESSTREND that exists. Noone would believe this when seeing me but there where times when I ate only yoghurt and an apple a day. I didn’t stop untill I passed out sometimes. So yes there are FAT PEOPLE who are ANOREXIC. My weight was riding a roller coaster and nothing worked long-term and I was sick of waiting for feeling better when I finally have lost weight. Because in my fat body I was not allowed to feel good. I had to change that. I was sick of thinking I was worthless and disgusting and I deeply wanted to feel better in my skin. So i seeked for psychological help.

In therapy I learned the MIRROR PRACTICE or “exposure therapy”. An exercise to overcome body image disturbances. The theory was to look at myself naked in the mirror as long as it would take to get used to the view until I realise “This is just a body” – not more, not less. The beginning was horrible and my eyes were swollen from crying. But after a while I felt more comfortable and discovered myself. I started to take pictures to see every angle and what I discovered was beauty, art and so much fun. I was convinced the practice works and I decided to let society give it a try, so it also can shake off its FAT-PHOBIA and I started sharing my work …